My, What Lovely Melons
by Violet Lunar Wolf
Summary: Hermione gets more than she bargained for when she suggests trying something new to spice up their relationship. But that isn't always a bad thing. And in some cases it can be quite funny. Inspired by and dedicated to SiriusBarks.


**My, What Lovely Melons**

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter names, characters and locations belong to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing that you recognize.

 _Written for The Taboo Challenge_

 _Prompt - public sex_

A/N: Blame Barky for this because I have been reading way too much Sirius Player. Siriusly though, read that story because it is amazing. And don't forget to read the chapter about Sirius Black and the Taco Bell dog while you're at it.

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Sirius had always been the adventurous type. Bold, daring, willing to break all the rules while acting like he didn't have a care in the world. So when Hermione suggested they try something new to spice up their relationship, Sirius decided it would be a good idea to take their sexual escapades to a more outdoor setting.

"No." Hermione chuckled nervously, her face blushing six shades red at the thought of having sex in public. "Honestly, Sirius, I can't do that!"

"And why not?" he asked, giving her a sly grin. "I'm sure you've heard of the term 'dogging', Hermione. You can experience the full effect by being with an actual dog!" He laughed at his own joke, smiling as he spread his arms wide. "So? What do you think? Are you ready to put a leash on me and go for a walk in the park?"

Hermione leaned back in her chair and glanced out the window. She wasn't even outdoors yet, and already she'd become more aware of herself and her surroundings, almost as if she were on display for all the world to see. "But what if someone sees us?" she asked. "We could get arrested for indecent exposure. And if we end up going to prison for breaking the law, then I - " Her sentence was cut short when Sirius leaned across the table and held a finger to her lips.

"Hush, darling," he murmured. "We're magical, remember? Our kind has been evading muggles for centuries. We've perfected the art of living alongside them without being seen. And if they see us we can wipe their memories clean so they won't remember a thing."

Hermione thought about it for a minute, and although she hated to admit it, Sirius had a good point. Still, she couldn't help feeling somewhat anxious at the thought of having sex in public.

"Come on, love," said Sirius. "Let's give them a show they'll never forget."

"Alright," said Hermione, the flush returning to her cheeks as she looked up at him. "But only if I get to pick the location."

"What did you have in mind?" he asked, his tone casual as though he were discussing plans for afternoon tea.

"The grocery store."

"Certainly, love." Sirius cocked his head to the side, grinning like a puppy who'd just been given a new toy. It wasn't every day that he saw this side of her, and he was going to make the most of it.

.oOo.

Hermione could feel her heart racing in her chest as they walked through the door. She took a deep breath, willing herself to remain calm, then paused when she felt him squeeze her hand.

"It's alright, Hermione," said Sirius. He smiled sweetly, his eyes shining with mischief. "If I was the sort of person who gets caught when he's up to no good," he said thoughtfully, his gaze drifting towards the ceiling, "I would have been sent back to prison a long time ago." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of material that resembled Harry's' invisibly cloak.

Hermione gasped. "You didn't."

"I did."

Sirius took her by the hand and lead her towards a large bin in the corner of the store. The bin was filled with watermelons, the sweet fruits piled high amid crates of apples, bananas and pears. And before she knew what was happening, Sirius had lifted her up and placed her atop the mountain of melons.

She felt her bottom gliding across the hard edge of the bin, a sudden cry escaping her lips as she fell backwards into the watermelons. The world turned upside down, the produce shifting to the side as Sirius climbed on top of her, his lips finding the crook of her neck as he flung the cloak over them.

"Sirius, wait!" She pressed her hand against his chest, her feet in the air as she sunk deeper into the pile of fruit. "It's not big enough."

"That isn't what you said last night," he said, a sly grin on his face as he reached for the waistband on her jeans.

"No, I mean the cloak. It won't cover us completely."

"So?" Sirius chuckled, his dark, dirty laugh filling her ears as he unzipped her pants. His hand dipped beneath the fabric of her underwear, his lips crashing down on hers, muffling an exclamation of surprise as she felt him delving deep into her warm, wet center.

He quickened the pace of his movements, his free hand reaching out from under the cloak and digging through the bin on his left. A muggle woman looked up from her shopping list and screamed when she saw a disembodied hand moving along the counter. Her baby, who was sitting in the lady's shopping cart sucking his thumb, gurgled and tried reaching for the hand. But before he could grab onto the wandering digits that closed around a bunch of grapes, his mother pushed the cart down the isle and disappeared around the corner.

Hermione whimpered as he slid his hand out from underneath the waistband of her pants, her hands finding his shoulders as she clung to him in the darkness beneath the cloak. She could feel the pressure building in her lower abdomen, her body begging for release after his ministrations stoked the fire in her loins.

"Not yet," said Sirius. "You need to sample the appetizer before moving on to the main course."

He plucked a grape from the bunch he swiped off the counter, placed it in his mouth and bit down on the succulent piece of fruit. She could taste the juice on his lips, his tongue probing the inside of her mouth as he ground his hips against her. His name escaped her in the form of a moan when they finally came apart, her slim fingers tugging on his belt buckle, urging him to remove his pants.

"Sirius, please," she whispered. "I need you. Please."

She could feel his breath against her cheek, muttering the incantation that would silence her cries of pleasure. He didn't care if some muggle spied an arm or a foot peeking out from underneath the cloak, but he'd be damned if someone overhead his sweet Hermione as she reached the height of pleasure.

The pressure she felt building in her abdomen returned the moment he entered her, her lips parting in a silent scream as he drove himself into her, giving her more with each thrust. He was so engrossed in his actions that he didn't notice the mountain of melons starting to shift and move towards the back of the bin. It wasn't until they reached the peak of ecstasy that Sirius slipped and caused an avalanche of melons to spill onto the floor.

The wizard fell over backwards, pulling the cloak off and landing in the mess on the floor. When Hermione sat up and looked over the side of the bin, Sirius grinned sheepishly and tried to act as though nothing happened. Which would have been fine if he hadn't slipped in the watermelon juice and went sliding across the floor.

Hermione snorted and covered her mouth with her hand. She couldn't help finding the situation humorous, even though she knew there was a camera or two recording everything they were doing. Which was fine with her, because when everything was said and done and the muggles' memories had been erased, she'd still have a tape of their joyful little romp through the grocery store. One that included a bare naked Sirius covered in bit of watermelon.


End file.
